well it is Friday night
and I have just finished another lonely bottle of good red wine
so I have decided to go on a bit of a rant
I keep reading
folks who talk about
owning and being owned
on FL
the fact is folks
no one can own another person
to own
means that you can do what you want
with the thing you own
including put to death
or throw out in the garage
I run into this sense of own
lots in the world I live in
around horses and dogs
I see people own
say they own a dog or a horse
and the proof of it is
that they put these creatures to death
for reasons which range from
“I want to go on vacation”
to
“I can’t handle what I need to do
to help this animal recover
its health”
all of which fills me with
concurrent rage and sadness
So I just
can’t accept
the owning language
that shows up in
so many Fet Life
profiles and posts
No one can own you
If You choose to put on a collar
if You choose to subordinate
yourself to another person
you transfer responsibility for self
to that other individual
I accept that it makes sense for you
but it is not
being owned
unless you are willing
to let that person
end your life
your existence
as a breathing individual
on this earth
and I sense that most of the folks
who use own language
don’t really mean that
so let’s get clear
it is not about owning
it is about a complex
emotional interchange
in which you surrender
your ability to will for yourself
to someone else
I accept that you
some of you may find
something which
I don’t understand
in doing so
but I wish we
shared a language
that stops confusing us
because the other does not own you
you have just given over
responsibility for you to them
and stopped taking responsibility
for your own will
It’s paradoxical
because as I try to understand
the dynamics of sadism
and sadomasochism
I am beginning to realize
that the sadist wills to hurt
and the masochist
who wills to experience pleasure in pain
neither never “owns” the other other
but both are engaged
in a profoundly deep
self to self exchange
SM exchange at this level
is not my thing
but finally
through the sharing of folks
on Fet Life
I am coming to understand it
and why it brings
fulfillment
to some people
who talk of the fulfillment
they find in being owned
